Poor people have no taste

I read over my servants’ overview of the news this morning and apparently they thought I’d be interested in this tripe. Apparently, these impoverished Koreans cannot comprehend the concept of savoring their food. Who wants food that makes you feel full while eating less? Why don’t they just eat dirt and mud?

Food is meant to be enjoyed, and the more of it that is enjoyed the better. I feel that it would be a far wiser investment to develop the most delectable noodles that don’t fill you up in the least. All these cretins are going to do is end up throwing away most of their dinners, having gotten full on the first course. How will you enjoy the other six? It just doesn’t make any sense at all.

It is surely a sickness of the brain that would lead one to believe getting full on less food to be a good idea. Unless, of course, you are a woman, in which case you just order the lobster and have a few bites of it to taste. Perhaps this is who these noodles are marketed at.  It could be a new diet food for women so they don’t feel like eating as much.  Come to think of it, this could easily be the Atkins-like revolution for this decade, and my fortunes could so greatly expand. I could even get that new yacht I’ve been wanting. What would it be this time, the eighth or ninth, I think? I’ll have to check with my people.

It’s brilliant. I need to get this stuff to my daughters right away. Perhaps then they’ll finally be able to attract a handsome and wealthy young gentleman to take care of this patriarch in his old age.