Poor People Movies Suck

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I believe we can all agree that while plebs can be useful at times, they are mostly irritations living purely at the discretion of we elite. They plod along day to day, never leaving any significant impact on the world and doing their least to help move our country forward. They demand that the real players, the people who actually drive the gears of this country — people like me — pay exorbitant taxes so the ones who don’t want to work and would rather sit at home producing another dozen plebian babies won’t starve. You see, I do all of the hard work, and they demand that I have to give them my money for nothing.

The ones that actually do some work artificially increase their salaries by having Marxist politicians enact minimum wage laws, and don’t even get me started on the union workers. Those dirty commies want me to ensure worker safety, give them overtime pay, and provide healthcare benefits. Some of them even demand wages above minimum wage for their pitiful plebian work. They simply don’t seem to understand how generous I am to them. Without my giving them my hard-earned money for their pitiful work, they would all be on the street starving and I would enjoy an extra dollop of my well-deserved caviar. Most of my staff don’t even bother showing up to work in a suit. How is anyone supposed to respect them when they treat themselves like that?

What does this have to do with movies? Well, every year, Hollywood creates an endless stream of crap portraying the myth that somehow poor plebs are something to look up to and this last year has been no different. What’s worse is that this critic from my morning read believes these poor pitiful attempts at Marxist propaganda are the best movies of the year:

Scenes from the precarious economic moment? They are, in fact, plotlines from some of 2008’s best movies. Last week, the academy recognized Courtney Hunt’s Frozen River, a downbeat chronicle of a woman on the economic periphery, with nominations for lead actress Melissa Leo and Hunt’s own script. But it was hardly the only American indie to tap into the dismal zeitgeist. Other homegrown films from last year—Chop Shop, Ballast, and Wendy and Lucy—fixed a steady gaze on American poverty.

What is most frustrating is how he claims this shift is a good shift from good solid movies about ordinary people like Garden State, claiming somehow they are “solipsistic.”

It’s a welcome change in an indie landscape that has recently been dominated by the solipsistic likes of … Garden State.

Why does Hollywood want to fix a steady gaze on poverty? Why would anyone want to see movies about poor people? If I want to watch movies of plebian struggle with these “hard” or “difficult” lives, I’ll go watch the tapes from the security cameras inside my servants’ quarters. I don’t go to the local cinema to be offered “a corrective for a culture in which the poor are usually invisible.” There is a reason we keep them invisible — they are depressing.

We have far more important things to do with our money and lives than dwell on the plebs. Why can’t they make a good movie about the elite and how difficult our lives are? They could just take that Ayn Rand’s book, “Hercules Shrugged,” or something like that and turn it into a movie. The struggle of the elite is a plague on society and must be understood by all. We toil every day to make ends meet. Thanks to the Democrats, we are in this recession, and now I have to try even harder to maintain the lifestyle that keeps all of these plebs employed and fed.

Poor people suck, therefore movies about poor people suck.

Figure it out Hollywood.