The wrong type of creeping socialism

I know I haven’t posted in a long time, but now that I finally got my bonus for last year — A nice 250m — I have more time to do this “blogging” and try to stop the creeping socialism that is overcoming our nation.  Thankfully, TARP came through, otherwise I’d have no idea how I would pay my taxes for last year. I am always dependent on my Christmas bonus to pay them off.

However, my morning summary of the news included this story from the communist rag, the New York Times. It’s a overwhelming pro-poor people socialism article about how the rich don’t deserve our bonuses and such, but at least they got one quote right:

“I think President Obama painted everyone with a broad stroke,” said Brian McCaffrey, 55, a Wall Street lawyer who was on his way to see a client. “The way we pay our taxes is bonuses. The only way that we’ll get any of our bailout money back is from taxes on bonuses. I think bonuses should be looked at on a case by case basis, or you turn into a socialist.”

I know the only way I pay my taxes is from my end of year bonus. Otherwise, I’d have to stop construction on the new wing of my house and cancel my skiing trip to the Alps this year, or maybe even trade my beautiful BD-700 Global Express jet for some older pleb model. Seriously, how is the government going to collect my taxes if I don’t get my Christmas bonus, it’s just complete insanity. If anyone really wants to bar me from getting a bonus, then they may as well nationalize my companies and line me up against the wall, because if I don’t get my well-deserved bonus then this country has clearly fallen into a Marxist hell.

I know the TARP funds are government socialism to some degree, but it’s the correct type of socialism — money for those who most deserve it in our society, the elite. Guiliani has it all figured out:

“If you somehow take that bonus out of the economy, it really will create unemployment,” he said on CNN’s “American Morning.” “It means less spending in restaurants, less spending in department stores, so everything has an impact.”

Seriously, how can I afford to go out and eat at Masa every Friday without my bonus? I won’t even be able to tip the plebs until I get my taxes sorted out. This country needs the correct type of socialism, otherwise all of those middle-class types will simply starve on the streets.

You see, we are the driving wheels of the economy; without us, no one works and nothing gets done. Without those bonuses, my taxes don’t get paid unless I fire Pedro, Alberto, Raul and the rest of those boys, and maybe even my wonderful, sexy maid Maria — and I just love seeing Maria polish my hardwood in the bedroom.

You see, this is why America needs these bonuses for the elite. If anyone complains they are clearly dirty Marxists.