This man understands the proper role of the elite

I know some plebs think their paltry 250k a year businesses somehow qualify them to be considered legitimate, but as this brililant orator puts it, any jobs those businesses provide are guaranteed to be “lame” and not help the economy.

Only us proper elite have the wisdom and history to know how to run the country, and taxing us is simply taxing all that is good for America.

Why won’t those lazy, dirty, socialist, marxist scum ever figure that out?

How demeaning!

When the elite, Bank CEOs, are forced to fly with the poor, what comes next? Bank CEOs going to Walmart? Bank CEOs sending their children to public school? Bank CEOs giving up their mistresses around the world?

Luckily, this is clearly a publicity stunt:

Or it could be Citigroup Inc.’s (C) Vikram Pandit, JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s ( JPM) Jamie Dimon, Morgan Stanley’s (MS) John Mack, or Bank of America Corp.’s ( BAC) Kenneth Lewis. The CEOs of the nation’s eight biggest financial institutions are ditching their fleet of private jets and taking public transportation to testify before Congress on Wednesday.

Their decisions to take a commercial flight or Amtrak service come amid a public outcry about the excesses of Wall Street and exorbitant CEO pay packages. The banks, whose CEOs have so far accepted $165 billion in bailout money, are also looking to avoid the kind of public smackdown given to the heads of the Big Three Detroit auto makers when they gave testimony last year.

It’s unbelievable that we are being degraded like this — forced to ride the dirty trains and airplanes of the peasantry, dragged in front of the inquisition, threatened to have our assets taken away.

It is almost like the French inquisition, what are the elite supposed to do? We must either pretend to be peasants or risk beheading. It’s a terrifying prospect.

Could you imagine being forced to ride public transit to work everyday? or to ride in economy when we fly to Switzerland?

1h

It’s downright vulgar!

That commie rag, the New York Times gets it right once in a while. In a recent article they went and itemized the minimum expenses anyone living in the City must put up with if they are to live like civilized people. Now, to avoid having all of the communist and Marxist propaganda drown out the seriousness of this situation, I went through the article and pulled out all of the essentials any elite living in New York must have. Anything less than this is unthinkable.

… at least two vacations a year, a winter trip to the sun and a spring trip to the ski slopes. Total minimum cost: $16,000.

A modest three-bedroom apartment, she said, which was purchased for $1.5 million, not the top of the market at all, carries a monthly mortgage of about $8,000 and a co-op maintenance fee of $8,000 a month. Total cost: $192,000. A summer house in Southampton that cost $4 million, again not the top of the market, carries annual mortgage payments of $240,000.

…

A chauffeur’s pay is between $75,000 and $125,000 a year

…

A personal trainer at $80 an hour three times a week comes to about $12,000 a year.

…

“a woman can spend $10,000 or $15,000 on a dress. If she goes to three or four of those a year, she’s not going to wear the same dress.” Total cost for three gowns: about $35,000.

…

One hour of tutoring once a week is $125. “That’s the low end,” she said. “The higher end is 150, 175.” SAT tutors are about $250 an hour. Total cost for 30 weeks of regular tutoring: $3,750.Two children in private school: $64,000. [In my case, this is considerably higher]

Nanny: $45,000. [And oh my God, we need at least one of these. An attractive one with "benefits" can run up to $80,000.]

about $425 every 10 days on groceries for her family. Annual cost: about $15,000. [What are they feeding their family? Loaves of bread and day-old fish?]

…

Each Brooks Brothers suit costs about $1,000. If you run a bank, you can’t look like a slob.

The total costs here, which do not include a lot of things, like kennels for the dog when the family is away, summer camp, spas and other grooming for the human members of the family, …  and frozen hot chocolates at Serendipity, are $790,750, which would require about a $1.6-million salary to compensate for taxes.

Think about that for a moment. To properly live a life in New York without turning into a dirty, unkempt pleb, you need to pull in at least 2 million dollars. Now, this is for the lowest of the elite, the nouveau riche, those whose tastes aren’t even refined yet. This would barely cover my basic food and familial expenses in a year. How can anyone expect to live a civilized life in New York on anything less? In fact, this could lead to a mass exodus from the island to the scourge of the suburbs, or even New Jersey if it were to go through. All of those beautiful houses and apartments sold in firesales to ensure that the executives are able to continue their work and who is going to buy them?

Marxists and plebians!

Those will be the only people left with enough money to afford a civilized lifestyle after big government limits our salaries to such an inhumane, uncivilized, disgusting level.

Looking at my books I may only be able to take one vacation to my private island this year. It’s simply barbaric.

He doesn’t stop at taking my money.

Now he is taking away my primetime television. Who is taking both my money and my entertainment? Barack Obama. Well, not my entertainment as I don’t waste my precious time on that plebian drivel known as primetime television. However, he’s found a new way to take away more of my money and prevent the elite from getting out their message to the plebian masses.

Broadcasters are bracing themselves for the likelihood of three prime-time interruptions in three weeks, totaling at least three hours of prime time — and ad breaks — yanked.

“His economic stimulus package apparently does not extend to the TV networks,” one network exec noted.

Obama’s reps have alerted broadcasters that the president will hold a news conference Monday, according to network execs. It’s expected to eat up the first hour of prime time; that alone could cost broadcasters more than $9 million in lost ad revenue.

So, now he’s going directly to the plebians to rile them up, and at my expense! To top it all off, all of the great marketing and commercials my businesses had planned to convince the plebian masses to buy our crap valuable products won’t be seen. Instead, the plebs are going to be “educated” as to why this stimulus is “good for the economy” and how it is going to provide them jobs. Too bad he won’t also educate them as to how this stimulus will harm us elite.

Now, $9 million in lost ad revenue is not a real concern for me, it’s the $9 million in lost propaganda time. For those nights, the masses are not going to see the correct advertisements.  The House, MD-watchers will not fall prey to my carefully-placed spot which will capitalize ont he fear and anxiety some patient’s imminent death is making them feel. Instead, they are going to see their president tell them what he things is important for this country. Doesn’t he realize that the entire problem is that the plebians aren’t giving me enough money? We need more advertising, not less advertising. Otherwise, how can we convince them that going into massive debt to get that next car or the second home is essential if their lives are ever going to be meaningful? If they don’t believe that and follow through on it, how in the world is the economy going to start moving again?

They might start doing crazy things like save their money or start their own foolish businesses, businesses built on plebian ideals like fairness and honesty.

And trust me folks, once the plebians start to think they are the proper elite of this country, it’s a slippery slope to pure Marxism.

I mean, how can any elite run an honest business when the plebians are running amok?

It’s time for a Republican insurgency

Finally, the Republicans realize what dire straits we elite are in:

“Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban,” Sessions said during a meeting yesterday with Hotline editors. “And that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person’s entire processes. And these Taliban — I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. No, that’s not what we’re saying. I’m saying an example of how you go about [sic] is to change a person from their messaging to their operations to their frontline message. And we need to understand that insurgency may be required when the other side, the House leadership, does not follow the same commands, which we entered the game with.”

Exactly!  Things are so dire in this country, that we need to take a page from the Taliban and re-establish the rightful ruling class. However, unlike the Taliban, the Republican insurgency won’t be to put religious nutzoids into power like they did in Iraqistan (which we promptly bombed out), but rather to put us, the proper elite, into the god-given positions we are supposed to be in. So the Republicans should implement a policy of insurgency in order to ensure that those who should be in power are in power.

What does this mean?  They need absorb the mindset of a proper Taliban insurgency and then implement it to ensure that the godless, communist Democrats don’t make matters worse in this country by giving my money to the plebs.

“I think insurgency is a mindset and an attitude that we’re going to have to search for and find ways to get our message out and to be prepared to see things for what they are, rather than trying to do something about them,” Sessions said. “I think what’s happened is that the line was drawn in the sand” by Pelosi.

They aren’t taking on the tactics of the Taliban lightly. This has all come to pass because Pelosi and those dirty Communists Democrats fooled so many plebians in the last election into voting for them. Due to that clear violation of our democracy, it is vital that Sessions and other Republican leaders do all that they can to ensure that the Democrats don’t pry more of the power away from the elite to give to the plebian masses of this nation.

For you see, if the plebian poor gain power and influence, then we are all doomed. They are poor for a reason: they aren’t supposed to have power. If they gain power over us elite, then nothing will get done, and gears of our society will grind to a halt. Remember, it is we, the elite few, who provide the money and intelligence needed to move this economy.

The Taliban fought the communists in Iraqistan and the Republicans will fight them here. The mistake the Taliban made, and the reason we had to go in there and impose a proper democracy on them, is that they placed religious nuts as their leaders. If our Republican insurgency works, we’ll impose the proper elite of the society into the positions of power — People like Bush or Cheney or McCain.

If we fail, however, it’s time for the elite to move to greener pastures.

Poor people want the elite to be poor.

Image by beansoup_67 via Flickr

This disgusting piece of pure insanity came to pass last night, and I believe it to be final proof that this country, already so poor in every way, has fallen to the Marxists. It is the final proof that Americans don’t respect the elite or the trials and struggles we have to go through every day to ensure they all have jobs in our factories and plants. I am starting to wonder if it’s time for us elite to pack up our toys and go to greener pastures. With the government forcing us to restrict our income to a paltry $500k a year, all hell should break loose. How am I supposed to feed, clothe myself and keep a roof over my head with that infinitesimal sum of money, much less feed my many mistresses? Not that they necessarily need to be dressed, of course.

As James F. Reda puts it, this is draconian. I would go even further to say that this is inhumane!

“That is pretty draconian — $500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus,” said James F. Reda, founder and managing director of James F. Reda & Associates, a compensation consulting firm. “And you know these companies that are in trouble are not going to pay much of an annual dividend.”

You see, we elite have needs which cannot be attended to for a mere 500k a year. How will any of us survive this storm? Maybe a pleb can survive eating MacMurphy’s burgers and buying $10 loaves of bread. We elite would simply fall apart on that disgusting and unhealthy food. Our palates are simply too refined to even stand it.  Regardless, my transportation costs for my private helicopter to work every day wouldn’t be covered by such a paltry sum.

This is pure disaster for this country and clearly a Communist (Obamist?) class war against us who built this country with our money and intellect.

I hate to do this, but I think we elite should simply pack up and leave. If they won’t give us the money we deserve, being the gears that turn this economy, why should we stick around and feed, clothe and supply these plebs with jobs? Clearly, they don’t feel our divine nature is needed here if they restrict our income below a subsistence level.

Seriously, how can anyone live on 500k a year? I haven’t the foggiest.

I’ll be forced to shop at Holt Renfrew for my suits.

I’ll have to be driven to work instead of taking my chopper or private jet.

I may have to give up my mistresses in Paris, Moscow- but not Tokyo, she’s special.

I need to move somewhere where they respect the elite, but I just don’t know where I could go. My investments were terrible last year and so no one will hire any of my loyal men. Even my son cannot find a job outside of my organization. That is why I need the bailout money so badly.

Either give up my elite crowd or give up my lavish lifestyle. That’s the choice Obama is giving me…

This year is going to be hell.

I need a drink.  And a ticket to Monaco.

Poor People Suck (and are profitable!)

Poor people are a giant sufferance for the rich, they also are fantastically easy to get money from. While I prefer to deal with people of my own elite status and work to improve their hard lives, there are many among the elite with unnecessary liberal guilt that feel a need to waste it on these poor people who don’t seem to be able to figure things out for themselves and stop being poor. You see, I have lots of jobs in my factories around the world they can work in so they may be less poor, but they keep on striking, complaining about the fumes making them sick or the wages being too low, or losing their arm because the machines are dangerous. If they aren’t willing to move to my factories and work, why should I waste my money trying to help them out?

However, if you are a enterprising elite businessman like me, you see opportunity in stupidity. If my less intelligent liberal colleagues want to waste their money on the poor, why not take advantage of it? Yesterday, that commie rag, the New York Times, had a great article on we wise elite business types. To ensure they didn’t upset their Marxist base of readers, they threw in that Marxist twist about how it is helping people get drinking water and not starve, and completely avoided pointing out that they are poor for good reason.  However, the real businessmen understand the wink-wink nudge-nudge nature of such an article, kudos to them on that.

To do this, they talk as though all of the companies are like this pitiful “Vestergaard-Frandsen” company.  A company solely dedicated to providing goods to refugee camps and such. However, unlike a lot of goody-two-shoes companies, at least the VF has the right idea:

“Vestergaard is just different from other companies we work with,” said Kevin Starace, malaria adviser for the United Nations Foundation. “They think of the end user as a consumer rather than as a patient or a victim.”

If you are a member of the elite you have to always view the end user as a consumer, even if they are poor as dirt. How else will you convince them to give you their remaining dollars so you can do far better things with it htan they can? Unfortunately, that is where this “family-owned” venture stops short of being part of the elite.

While they’ve “made a profit,” they clearly don’t understand that you can produce a less effective product for  cheaper in China, and make far more profit. If some people get hurt, it won’t matter. They are too poor to afford lawyers and more would’ve likely died anyways without your product. You see, the benefit to selling to poor people is that they are usually already sick, dying or otherwise hobbled. If you save a few cents cutting corners here and there, no one will ever notice.

And since they aren’t part of the elite, if anyone gets hurt, it’s their own fault for being poor in the first place. If they didn’t want to be poor, they should go find some real work.

Perhaps they could work for me selling my crap to the poor?

Poor People Movies Suck

Image via Wikipedia

I believe we can all agree that while plebs can be useful at times, they are mostly irritations living purely at the discretion of we elite. They plod along day to day, never leaving any significant impact on the world and doing their least to help move our country forward. They demand that the real players, the people who actually drive the gears of this country — people like me — pay exorbitant taxes so the ones who don’t want to work and would rather sit at home producing another dozen plebian babies won’t starve. You see, I do all of the hard work, and they demand that I have to give them my money for nothing.

The ones that actually do some work artificially increase their salaries by having Marxist politicians enact minimum wage laws, and don’t even get me started on the union workers. Those dirty commies want me to ensure worker safety, give them overtime pay, and provide healthcare benefits. Some of them even demand wages above minimum wage for their pitiful plebian work. They simply don’t seem to understand how generous I am to them. Without my giving them my hard-earned money for their pitiful work, they would all be on the street starving and I would enjoy an extra dollop of my well-deserved caviar. Most of my staff don’t even bother showing up to work in a suit. How is anyone supposed to respect them when they treat themselves like that?

What does this have to do with movies? Well, every year, Hollywood creates an endless stream of crap portraying the myth that somehow poor plebs are something to look up to and this last year has been no different. What’s worse is that this critic from my morning read believes these poor pitiful attempts at Marxist propaganda are the best movies of the year:

Scenes from the precarious economic moment? They are, in fact, plotlines from some of 2008’s best movies. Last week, the academy recognized Courtney Hunt’s Frozen River, a downbeat chronicle of a woman on the economic periphery, with nominations for lead actress Melissa Leo and Hunt’s own script. But it was hardly the only American indie to tap into the dismal zeitgeist. Other homegrown films from last year—Chop Shop, Ballast, and Wendy and Lucy—fixed a steady gaze on American poverty.

What is most frustrating is how he claims this shift is a good shift from good solid movies about ordinary people like Garden State, claiming somehow they are “solipsistic.”

It’s a welcome change in an indie landscape that has recently been dominated by the solipsistic likes of … Garden State.

Why does Hollywood want to fix a steady gaze on poverty? Why would anyone want to see movies about poor people? If I want to watch movies of plebian struggle with these “hard” or “difficult” lives, I’ll go watch the tapes from the security cameras inside my servants’ quarters. I don’t go to the local cinema to be offered “a corrective for a culture in which the poor are usually invisible.” There is a reason we keep them invisible — they are depressing.

We have far more important things to do with our money and lives than dwell on the plebs. Why can’t they make a good movie about the elite and how difficult our lives are? They could just take that Ayn Rand’s book, “Hercules Shrugged,” or something like that and turn it into a movie. The struggle of the elite is a plague on society and must be understood by all. We toil every day to make ends meet. Thanks to the Democrats, we are in this recession, and now I have to try even harder to maintain the lifestyle that keeps all of these plebs employed and fed.

Poor people suck, therefore movies about poor people suck.

Figure it out Hollywood.

The wrong type of creeping socialism

I know I haven’t posted in a long time, but now that I finally got my bonus for last year — A nice 250m — I have more time to do this “blogging” and try to stop the creeping socialism that is overcoming our nation.  Thankfully, TARP came through, otherwise I’d have no idea how I would pay my taxes for last year. I am always dependent on my Christmas bonus to pay them off.

However, my morning summary of the news included this story from the communist rag, the New York Times. It’s a overwhelming pro-poor people socialism article about how the rich don’t deserve our bonuses and such, but at least they got one quote right:

“I think President Obama painted everyone with a broad stroke,” said Brian McCaffrey, 55, a Wall Street lawyer who was on his way to see a client. “The way we pay our taxes is bonuses. The only way that we’ll get any of our bailout money back is from taxes on bonuses. I think bonuses should be looked at on a case by case basis, or you turn into a socialist.”

I know the only way I pay my taxes is from my end of year bonus. Otherwise, I’d have to stop construction on the new wing of my house and cancel my skiing trip to the Alps this year, or maybe even trade my beautiful BD-700 Global Express jet for some older pleb model. Seriously, how is the government going to collect my taxes if I don’t get my Christmas bonus, it’s just complete insanity. If anyone really wants to bar me from getting a bonus, then they may as well nationalize my companies and line me up against the wall, because if I don’t get my well-deserved bonus then this country has clearly fallen into a Marxist hell.

I know the TARP funds are government socialism to some degree, but it’s the correct type of socialism — money for those who most deserve it in our society, the elite. Guiliani has it all figured out:

“If you somehow take that bonus out of the economy, it really will create unemployment,” he said on CNN’s “American Morning.” “It means less spending in restaurants, less spending in department stores, so everything has an impact.”

Seriously, how can I afford to go out and eat at Masa every Friday without my bonus? I won’t even be able to tip the plebs until I get my taxes sorted out. This country needs the correct type of socialism, otherwise all of those middle-class types will simply starve on the streets.

You see, we are the driving wheels of the economy; without us, no one works and nothing gets done. Without those bonuses, my taxes don’t get paid unless I fire Pedro, Alberto, Raul and the rest of those boys, and maybe even my wonderful, sexy maid Maria — and I just love seeing Maria polish my hardwood in the bedroom.

You see, this is why America needs these bonuses for the elite. If anyone complains they are clearly dirty Marxists.

Who throws such a cheap shoe?

The question of the day after Bush was almost beaned by such a cheap and dirty shoe in Iraq is: Who throws a shoe? Seriously. And such a cheap shoe at that! It’s funny how poor people obsess over their shoes and throwing them at people and into machines. It would make sense if the shoes were actually worth something, but as a sign of protest, it’s meaningless when it’s just a cheap piece of leather.

Look at that cheap piece of leather!

When I was young, my great-grandfather told me about how those dirty communists used to throw their shoes (or “sabots”) into his machinery at his factory. It was frustrating because after he implemented a strategy that saved millions of dollars by replacing plebian workers with machines, the plebs took it out on the poor machinery by throwing shoes into them. Sometimes the machine would be fine, other times it would break down and it would take months to get the factory going again.

The respected elite elders tried hard to make machine destruction punishable by death.  Such useful wealth was destroyed for silly plebian reasons, but sadly we live in a democracy, and the representatives whose very pockets we lined believed that it would be hard to sell such sentencing to the electorate. Well, that and the dirty commies were taking over both in Britain and America. Eventually, people realized the wisdom of letting the elite use machines rather than plebians to build things, but it took a century or so first.

Now, I can understand throwing a shoe at someone — I do it regularly when my servants fail to do what I tell them, more often than I would prefer. Yet, when I throw a shoe at them, I throw something like this, something worth much more than they:

Now, this is a throwing shoe!

If you are going to do it, you need to do it with class. I would die of embarrassment throwing a dirty old piece of leather at someone as an insult.

You may as well poop into your hand and throw that at them; at least it will stick better.